While doing a report on Area 54, a secret area inside of Area 51, Jon and his Crew are sent through a van-shaped dimensional gateway by a scientist (Chris Parnell) who notes that their van is the perfect vessel for the portal. When he accidentally kills two alien children upon exiting the gateway, Jon finds himself in court and facing a possible death sentence. Now Jon only his lawyer (Tim Heidecker) to help save his life as the bereaved father (Eric Wareheim) calls for blood. Also included is "Shame on Me" with Edward Sheath (Rich Fulcher).

Jon has a violent physical encounter with Jewish motorist on the road that ends with him bitten and becoming an Orthodox "Were-Jew," resulting in Jon waking up confused with a Jewish wife and a new home. Things get worse when, just as he is learning to accept his new life, he is bitten by a homosexual motorist. Also features another "Shame on Me" segment and interview with the founder of a father/baby half Ironman triathlon, and "Switch-A-Roo", in which a rich country child switches places with a rich city child.