Leisure centre manager Gordon Brittas is a shocked man. He has found an item of ladies' foundation wear behind his office sofa, put two and two together and determined to catch the offenders. Carole the homeless receptionist is pregnant again, with only dim memories of a leopard skin suit on New Year's Eve. She is keeping her first child in a drawer under the reception desk and now sets up home in a store cupboard.

Brittas decides his leisure centre has "sick building syndrome", and looks for a cure.