When a report by the Rand Corporation appears in Newsweek casting police detectives in a negative light, the men at the twelfth precinct are less than thrilled by the article. As a result, Wojo has to spend one week a month walking the beat on uniform patrol with the other third grade detectives. However when he hears the news, Wojo declares he would rather quit than go back on patrol.

When Wojo brings in a suspect for breaking into a warehouse he soon collapses. Once a doctor gets called up to the squad room to diagnose the suspect, everyone is ordered to stay under quarantine until tests determine if he has chicken pox or smallpox. Meanwhile, Marty and his partner Darryl turn to Barney for help in getting a character reference in order to be able to move to San Francisco, and Fish books a prostitue.