The detectives work to reassure a monk who arrives in the squad room to fill out a missing persons report when his novitate vanishes not long after arriving in the city. It's Dietrich's turn to cross-dress for mugging detail and Barney tries to diplomatically explain to him that his services might be better suited elsewhere.

A bookstore owner is brought in by Harris and Levitt for causing a scene, protesting outside a strip club that opens near his business. Meanwhile as the detectives deal with the heating being turned off to conserve energy, Wojo arrests a man who was wading in a fountain, claiming he will spontaneously combus at a moment's notice.