Persuaded by Jane at the promise of a potential role as the 'British Attach' in Kevin Spacey's House of Cards, Toast takes part in a Royal Variety Performance hosted by Bob Monkhouse. Whilst Toast is trying to cope with Monkhouse's constant jokes and the strain of working with Ray Purchase yet again, Scramble Studio's Danny Bear is getting ready for a life changing operation. When it's time to go under the knife however it seems Ed's recommended 'surgeon' may cut a few corners to save a bob or two, and although Toast's legendary Sand Dance performance might go well he still doesn't have a clue what Monkhouse is on about.

You know what they say, 'an actor cannot truly call himself an actor until he's performed at the Globe'. That, and never work with animals. London is having the hottest weather since weather began, Ed's Australian nephew has come to say, and the latest fad of 'Blue Spruce' furniture is spreading like wild fire. When Toast begs Jane to get him in at the Globe Theatre, he's less than impressed with the director, Daz Klondyke, who's rumoured to be the hottest thing in UK theatre. However when he's cast in Klondyke's all dog version of Twelfth Night, it's not long before Toast gets his fingers burnt as he tries to become a real actor.