After making some extra money from the diaper business, Mike surprises a rather unenthusiastic Heck family with a spring break vacation at Mammoth Cave, Kentucky. In the hopes of livening up what is perceived to be a lame vacation, Frankie suggests that the Donahues join them. While Mike visits all of the attractions on his own, Nancy asks a not-so-thrilled Frankie to speak with Sean to try and talk him into taking his MCATs; Axl enlists Brick to help him pick up women by playing "Jerk/No Jerk" - with Brick in the role of the "Jerk"; and Mike is anything but excited when an exuberant Sue reveals some news to him about her upcoming summer plans.

Frankie is thrilled when Sue invites her for lunch at the college. But lunch becomes awkward when Sue brings her new boyfriend along - Jeremy, the school activist - and the two of them begin bombarding Frankie with everything she and the world, in general, are doing wrong. Meanwhile, Axl informs a very disappointed Mike that he wants to quit football, and Brick overly obsesses over filling out a satisfaction survey after ordering some graph paper online.