While Claire runs herself ragged trying to play peacemaker with Haley and Alex, Phil sneaks off for a nice relaxing day at the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two primo side-by-side crypts in preparation of the inevitable future, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted -- however, during the process he unearths artifacts that are quite disturbing -- .

Cameron is relishing his role as interim music director at Luke and Manny's school, and he's taking on the upcoming spring musical performance with a little too much zest and fervor. Meanwhile, Jay's brother, Tommy, is in town for a visit, and their relentless brotherly ribbing goes a little too far; and Phil convinces the family to be in his new realty ad, but when he goes as far as to wrap the family minivan in the ad, the results are unexpected.