The town celebrates its annual Witch Day, which involves pronouncing a mortified Duncan the "town virgin" for the big ceremony, but he protests the celebration to impress Mia, who finds it sexist and barbaric. Meanwhile, Annie and Jack steal a dead woman's chili recipe to try and win the celebration's chili cook-off.

To celebrate their anniversary, Jack and Annie rekindle the passion of their youth by visiting a 1980s-themed club, before realizing that their maturity might not be that boring after all. Meanwhile, Jing makes Duncan "marry her," but their make-believe quickly becomes complicated by real marital problems. Also, Kimberly feels ignored and acts out for attention.