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In Florida, Homer gets caught up in spring break partying and accidentally runs over "Captain Jack" a iconic swamp alligator and the family has to go on the lam. Blackboard: "I am not here on a fartball scholarship".
Barney quits drinking to take helicopter-flying lessons, leaving Homer feeling resentful and inferior; Lisa and Bart enter a contest to photograph the cover of the Springfield phone book.
Bart and Milhouse camp out in a shopping mall for a week and drive Chief Wiggam crazy, while Lisa enrolls in a tap dance school run by a former child star who is full of herself.