Bart is informed that he and a select group of students have received perfect scores on a practice test for the upcoming Vice President's Assessment Test. As a result, he will be exempt from taking the real exam and will be transported by helicopter to a pizza party. Shocked at how Bart could have performed better than she did, Lisa freezes up when it comes time for her to take the exam. However, Bart and the others soon realize their trip is not what it seems, and their day turns into an adventure all its own. Meanwhile, when Homer is late on making an insurance payment, he must avoid bodily accidents at all costs until his insurance check is cashed, making for one very tense afternoon. Blackboard: '"march madness" is not an excuse for missing school'.

When Homer leaves Maggie on the doorstep of a convent to keep her safe as he rescues Santa's Little Helper from a sticky situation, the nuns at the convent take Maggie in. Lisa comes up with a plan to infiltrate the convent and rescue Maggie. After deciphering a series of cryptic messages at the convent, Lisa sets off to find Springfield's most coveted jewel and gets a little help from an ancient order of mystery buffs led by Comic Book Guy and Principal Skinner. But when Springfield's Freemasons, led by Mr. Burns, get wind of Lisa's quest, she must race to solve the mystery and find Maggie.