Marge is concerned that Lisa is dating below her station when she brings home competitive eater-in-training Lucas Bortner, and she enlists Homer to help Lisa explore other options. Meanwhile, Bart is thrilled to receive free gifts from Snake Jailbird after he helps the convict escape from a jam, but when a betrayal from Milhouse puts Snake back in jail, Bart must forge a plan to set him free.

Bart can't stand art class. So he makes a voodoo doll of his art teacher. But when his spell makes her pregnant instead, he becomes a savior to Springfield couples trying to conceive. Then, he's kidnapped to help conceive a thoroughbred race horse. Blackboard 'You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th'.