Sideshow Bob (voice of Kelsey Grammer) steals an atomic bomb and demands that Springfield abolish television. Blackboard: 'Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things'.

Busted for shoplifting, Bart manages to keep the incident quiet---until he returns to the store for the Simpsons' Christmas portrait. And the news is devastating to Marge. Blackboard: 'I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist'.