Peter is stunned to run into Jesus at the mall, and even more stunned to discover that he is still a virgin, so Peter recruits Quagmire and Cleveland to celebrate Jesus' birthday by finding a way to end his celibacy.

Meg convinces Brian to take the SAT's for her, but when he tests poorly, they start to suspect that Brian might not that smart after all. Peter decides to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ.