When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois' heritage. Peter takes to the family's newfound faith eagerly, but when he is visited by the ghost of his father, he changes his tune. After a visit from an old friend sets him straight, Peter and Lois agree to go back to the way things were. Meanwhile, Quagmire finds out about internet porn.

When Brian snags an older woman, he becomes the laughingstock of the family, but things go from bad to worse when she breaks her hip and Brian has to be her errand-boy.