Al battles other husbands at a store for last-minute Valentine's Day shoppers. Meanwhile, Bud gets physically and sexually abused when trying to find in a hotel his long-lost valentine girl, who is now a famous pop star.

Al opposes the proposed destruction of his old high school football field to build a new auto plant (initiated by Marcy and Kyoto Bank) by chaining himself to the goalpost. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud suffer from unusual side effects after Kelly the Verminator sprays them with a new pesticide called "Springtime in Baghdad."