Doug turns Carrie on by imitating the sexy voice of Rico, a studly new Latin co-worker, but then he grows jealous of Rico, whom Carrie has never met. Meanwhile, after reading "Tuesdays with Morrie," Arthur tries to get a young delivery guy to "chronicle his wisdom."

Doug is determined to lose weight after he finds out that Carrie gets all of his clothes at a store that specializes in bigger sizes; Arthur fears he'll get mugged, so he buys a plastic torso called "Mr. Safety" to make would-be robbers think he's not alone.