Mike and Randall clash repeatedly with an obnoxious deejay. Paul tries to write an objective critique of Randall's autobiography. The female staffers fantasize about the handsome man who delivers bottled water to the building.

Mike dates Lisa, a writer for "All My Children", then sees details of their romance played out on episodes of the show. A newspaper photo's caption names Stuart as Carter's boyfriend, so Stuart uses the ruse to get dates.