D.J. inherits $500 in his great aunt Harriet's will (because he was the only member of the family she never met) and blows half of it on a trombone to impress a girl who plays tuba in the school band. Meanwhile, Darlene alienates everyone by mentioning that she has turned down a $500/week job in advertising, an entry level position that would pay her more than both her parents earn.

While Nana Mary amuses Roseanne and Jackie with a box of their childhood treasures, Dan and his pals reluctantly play poker with Leon and Scott.