After Marty fails to win an event at his school field day, he is feeling very low so Jay tries to improve his self-confidence by getting him interested in playing guitar and putting him in the school talent show. Meanwhile, Them Magazine names Jay "the wittiest man alive" so Duke offers to pay everyone who doesn't laugh at Jay's show $100 which doesn't go over very well.

Eleanor is bored and feeling depressed with her life so he attempts to become an author and write a book. She writes a children's book called The Fat Little Pig which Jay learns is modeled after him which does not leave him very pleased. Meanwhile, Jay tries to get along with his new pet dog.