Claire and Jr. have been fighting all their lives, but when both claim to have found a wallet with $500 (and no I.D.) in it, it's time for "family court," the honorable ("and very handsome") Judge Michael Kyle presiding. Jay agrees to serve as Claire's lawyer while Kady's genius boyfriend Franklin argues for Jr. Meanwhile, Claire decides to become a vegetarian, prompted by her boyfriend, Tony, who has begun to fast. And Michael volunteers to teach Kady to ride a bicycle.

Franklin's little sister, Aretha, is a terrific singer, but he doesn't exactly brag about her. Meanwhile, Jay finds a photo of Michael's former girlfriend among his memorabilia. Why, she wonders, has he saved it? Actually, "wonders" doesn't adequately describe her reaction. "We have a crisis in our marriage," she fumes.