Susan offers "to cook" for Steve, but he nearly chokes on the date after rumors of Patrick's sexier attributes come up and something in her bedside drawer refuses to be kept down. Meanwhile, Sally uses Jeff to size up Patrick before she agrees to go out with him; and Jane hits on a gay guy to get a rise out of her own ex.

The politics of paying for dates vexes Steve and Susan's sex life, which gets even trickier after their friends weigh in on how to settle up in the bedroom. Meanwhile, Patrick realizes that his too-cool car makes him look like a loser; and Jane takes on her stalker for not paying her enough attention.