It is Mr Christopher's last day teaching at Quayside Academy before he goes off to start his dream job in television. In an attempt to help the students cope with their loss, he sets up a support group and forces several students to attend. Before he leaves, he gives his Year 9 pupils one final speech, reminding them how talentless they all are, and, as he departs, his mysterious new job is finally revealed.

PE teacher Mr Gangles makes a meal of teaching hockey, flatulent yoga teacher Mr Chakra creates a stink while perfecting his downward dog, and Charleigh has to spend the entire day standing as part of Rolf Smorgasbord's latest art installation. Meanwhile, Year 9 have a new drama teacher - Dame Margo Chichester - an experienced actress who takes her job a little too seriously.