On his way to holy confession in case he gets killed at a football match, Kevin walks into the middle of a race riot and gets walloped and arrested. When Young Dick finds out that Kevin has doubled his chance of getting to heaven by being both Catholic and Muslim, he is ever so slightly appalled.

Redecorating the office for Christmas, Smelly laments the impending lack of a Queen's Speech on the TV that year. The Shop Steward is quick to denounce Christmas as a capitalist racket, but Kevin puts him straight.