The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay, breaks her leg in a soccer match. So Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.

Francine encourages the family to give up their various vices, but they all get drunk at Roger's Mardi Gras party and enter into a harrowing pact with Bullock. Meanwhile, a pastie is left in the attic, Cinderella-style, and Roger sets out to find the "perfect bosom" on which to place it.