Frank wants to marry a prostitute and the gang can't talk him out of it. While Dee sets out to burnish the hooker's heart of gold, Charlie takes a different tack: He tries to set Frank up with another woman. Meanwhile, Mac has put on a lot of weight. "I'm cultivating mass," he tells Dennis.

Frank finds himself in the child beauty-pageant business and fears that people might think that he's in it for the wrong reasons. Meanwhile, Dee wages war on stage moms; and Mac, Dennis and Charlie think they have found a contestant to back.