Alf decides to become one of Mrs Thatcher 's entrepreneurs. He enlists Michael's support in a car-parking scheme on match day and follows Norman Tebbit's advice by getting on his wheelchair to do a paper round. This takes him to the home of one of his team's favourite players, but not through the front door.

Alf is still concerned about ill health, but this time it is Mrs Hollingbery 's ailments that worry him. His concern is not born out of tender feelings towards her - rather that her bad leg is a major inconvenience to him. Who's going to cook and clean for him?