Gorgeous barman Alex rejects Michelle because she's vain, so Michelle determines to win him back by becoming the ugliest woman in Manchester. To overcome his obsession with Michelle, Grant vows to go home to Swansea, but he is hijacked on his way to the station by Michelle's deranged boss, Rachel. Chris prepares to take out his sexual frustrations on a watermelon.

When Michelle tries to get her old job back at Glo gym her boss Rachel relegates her to the position of towel girl, so Michelle resorts to a novel interview technique to get a job as Grant's PA. Chris takes Claire to meet his parents and discovers that they share a revolting secret.