When Michelle's new flatmate Chris calls her immature, she tries to show him just how grown up she is by marrying Grant. Claire falls for Chris, but he seems more interested in books than in her, so she resolves to seduce him, come what may.

Gorgeous barman Alex rejects Michelle because she's vain, so Michelle determines to win him back by becoming the ugliest woman in Manchester. To overcome his obsession with Michelle, Grant vows to go home to Swansea, but he is hijacked on his way to the station by Michelle's deranged boss, Rachel. Chris prepares to take out his sexual frustrations on a watermelon.