Features a teenager who superglued her fingers together while applying false nails, a granny who mangled her ankle after moshing in church, and a DIY enthusiast whose attempt at woodwork turned into the East Anglian Chainsaw Massacre.

Plus the schoolboy skewered like a human kebab - on a flagpole.

Features a women's rugby rout that lands a scrumful of players in casualty; a health and safety instructor with a hole in his head after walking into a car door; and a chef who serves pizza with a fingertip topping after an accident with a meat slicing machine.

Plus, the shop fitter who had a two-metre steel rod plunge from the ceiling into his eye and who needed firemen in the operating theatre to get it out.