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After learning eternal hell is the price for stealing, Lisa decides she'd rather go to heaven than watch pirated cable.
Marge and Homer reveal how they met as they tell a tale of love at first sight (but only for one) and the high-school prom they attended (but not together).
Bart benefits when Principal Skinner falls for his Aunt Patty, who has Skinner but doesn't want him, while Aunt Selma has naught but want.