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Bart can clear Mayor Quimby's nephew of a charge of battery, but only by implicating himself as a hooky player. Blackboard: 'There are plenty of businesses like show business'.
Bart takes his dog to school, which gets Skinner fired, which in turn leaves Bart missing his archnemesis. Blackboard: 'I will not celebrate meaningless milestones'.
Grandpa Simpson falls for Marge's mother, but loses out to a competitor; Bart gets ripped off shopping at home with Homer's credit card.