It's the Roman festival of love so when Marcus is asked out by Gloria from next door, he can't tell if it's a date or a meeting about their party wall. Jason tries to maintain his Lupercalia perfect-score, while Grumio enjoys a romantic meal for one.

When the Crown and Toga is hit by a mega tax bill, Marcus does everything in his power to find a top-notch accountant. Jason isn't helping things by giving away free drinks to his barber in exchange for haircuts. And Grumio finds a fast snail in the bar.