The fifth season wraps up with Doug and Carrie discovering that they enjoy doing things apart, even sleeping, after they are forced to use twin beds until their new one arrives. Also: Arthur spies on neighbor Lou Ferrigno to get all the latest gossip.

Doug's plan to get the fatty foods he wants to eat through Arthur backfires when Carrie catches on and puts her dad on a strict diet. Meanwhile, Spence camps out in front of a movie theater in order to be the first person in line for an upcoming sci-fi picture.

While visiting his folks in Florida, Doug learns the overprotective duo have been sheltering him from painful truths, such as the fact that his dog died years ago and has been replaced three times. Back at home, Spence convinces Arthur to serve as a mediator between Spence's girlfriend and his mom at a dinner.

Doug tries to reunite Arthur with his estranged half-brother after learning that the two of them own a nearby house, which was left to them by a relative 10 years before. Doug sees this as a great chance to finally get Arthur to move out, but Carrie doesn't think it is such a good idea.

Carrie can't control her urge to buy expensive clothes, wear them for a few days and then return them for a full refund. Elsewhere, Spence's new girlfriend is terrified of his dog and makes him decide between her and the pooch.

Doug is depressed when his cousin Danny is hired as a driver at IPS and is given Doug's route after he turns in a faster time on the circuit. At home, Arthur gets upset with Holly after she tells him he is like a grandfather to her rather than like a dad.

Carrie confronts Doug about his habit of lying in order to get out of doing things he hates, while he accuses her of using scare tactics to get her way. Also: Spence's meek girlfriend picks up some nasty pointers from Carrie and uses them on him.

Doug and Carrie go to extreme lengths to get the lazy Russian crew they hired to rid their house of mold to finish the job. One of the things they do is supply the workers with an unlimited supply of vodka.

Arthur allows Spence's mom to seduce him in hopes that she will lend him $12,000 for a much-needed home repair that Doug and Carrie can't afford. Also: Doug invites his dad to visit.

Doug and Carrie vacation with their neighbors in St. Croix, but their fun is short-lived after Arthur calls them with bad news about their house, which is in need of an expensive repair.

Doug must cancel a Valentine's Day dinner with Carrie when his boss makes him transport penguins to the Albany zoo. Also: Arthur tries to romance a woman at a dance for senior citizens; and Carrie's boss takes a liking to Holly.

Doug and Carrie pick up another couple's photos by mistake and feel their lives aren't as exciting as the mystery pair, so they try to copy what they see in the pictures. Also: Arthur gets a cell phone and is disappointed when no one calls him.

Carrie accuses Doug of not thinking about her enough during the day, so Doug goes out of his way to prove her wrong. Also, Doug tries to recruit guys at work to attend his Super Bowl party when it appears that everyone is intent on going to an elaborate bash thrown by another co-worker instead.

Carrie thinks Doug needs professional help to control his excessive eating habits, so she persuades him to see a therapist. Also: Arthur believes he's addicted to nasal spray and fights to stay off of it.

Christmas brings headaches for the Heffernans when Doug fights with Deacon over a cherished toy from their youth and Carrie gets caught up in trying to outgive everyone else on her holiday shopping list.

Doug loans Carrie out to Deacon for a week so she can help him prepare a Thanksgiving feast for his whole family, but she soon wears out her welcome with her poor cooking skills and her non-stop chatter.

Carrie wins four tickets to several Knicks games, but she and Doug disagree over which couple to take along with them. Also, Arthur boasts that he can get parking tickets fixed by a friend in the police department, but he soon learns that his old acquaintance no longer works there. But Arthur is too proud to fess up to his buddies, and they keep bringing him tickets.

Doug takes an obscene picture of himself at a wedding reception, and he's horrified when the photo is passed around the next day at a brunch for the bride and groom.

Carrie gets jealous when Doug's mother visits and spends most of her time with one of Doug's ex-girlfriends, a now-divorced woman who has stayed in contact with Mrs. Heffernan over the years.

Doug becomes jealous when he visits Carrie's office and discovers that she is very friendly with a gay male co-worker. Also, Arthur gets upset when Holly starts paying more attention to a new dog she's walking than to him.

Carrie is shocked when she baby-sits her boss's 4-year-old son and he constantly feels her up. Also, Doug tries flirting with a homely girl at a bowling alley to make her feel good, but his efforts backfire.

Deacon asks Doug to help him coach his 8-year-old son's football team and the boy challenges Doug to try out for a semipro team, but Carrie isn't thrilled with the idea.

Carrie prays for a raise and gets it, so she starts praying for other selfish things (like designer shoes), which infuriates Doug. Also, Arthur attempts to sell the house without telling Doug and Carrie.

Carrie worries that her new neighbors may have overheard her arguing with Doug, so she works hard to impress them; Spence, working in a subway toll booth, calls the police when Arthur refuses to pay his fare and jumps the turnstile.

Doug discovers that he literally can't sleep without Carrie when she is required to work nights to prepare for a big civil case at the law firm.