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Dear Sir,
May I remind you that a Radio Times billing should inform, educate and above all attract potential viewers. It should not be regarded as a vehicle for old jokes, unfunny correspondence and childish innuendo.
Incidentally, my friends down at The Old Horse and Duck think I'm a very funny man so I hereby apply for a position as a BBC comedian.
Yours sincerely,
Fr Douglas Wernham
'The cheeky chaplain'