Dear Sir,
May I remind you that a Radio Times billing should inform, educate and above all attract potential viewers. It should not be regarded as a vehicle for old jokes, unfunny correspondence and childish innuendo.
Incidentally, my friends down at The Old Horse and Duck think I'm a very funny man so I hereby apply for a position as a BBC comedian.
Yours sincerely,
Fr Douglas Wernham
'The cheeky chaplain'

Dear Sir,
Who was that dishy guy in last week's programme? I'm talking about the one on the left in that bit about the big filing cabinet. It was really funny. He was really dishy.
Could you arrange for me to meet him, get married, have a honeymoon in the Seychelles and raise a family of six girls in a detached mansion in the Cotswolds? Failing that I would appreciate a signed photograph.
Yours sincerely,
Maureen Dog