When Jen cuts her finger and Greg takes her to the hospital, they finally have the first quality alone time they've had in months. Also, John takes Samantha and Sophia to a restaurant where everything is named after feelings, Heather gives Tim a sexy anniversary gift, and Sophia is punished after Heather hears her swearing.

Colleen goes Christmas caroling with John and his Air Force buddies; Joan tries to take control of Lark's first Christmas; a mall Santa gives Samantha lice; and Tyler announces his college plans.