Tim thinks wearing a Cinderella dress during March Madness is good luck, so he refuses to take it off in hopes his alma mater will win. Also, Greg fantasizes about what to write in a birthday card for his boss, Tyler goes to prom and must withstand unsolicited advice from his parents and grandparents, and Jen sets Matt up on a blind date with her coworker, Dougie.

John and Joan reveal a shocking secret they've kept from their kids for 35 years. Also, Greg quits his job after creating a public funding campaign for his own invention, Heather and Tim try to make up for missing Samantha's Student of the Month Ceremony at school, and Matt's plan to make a big announcement at his and Colleen's book party keeps getting delayed.

Greg is jealous of Jen's handsome new assistant; Heather and Tim prank Tyler's school; Joan allows Sophia to chew gum despite Heather forbidding it; and John takes his new puppy on a date with Colleen and her dog.

ėAbout who gets to use the hot tub when new property lines are drawn. Also, Greg and Jen invite their exterminator and his wife over for dinner, Matt and Colleen make an effort to be friends, and Tim is terrified to perform minor surgery on John.

After realizing that Sophia is growing up faster than he'd like, John buys himself a pet, but it doesn't get along well with Joan. Also, Heather accidentally sends Tyler a sexy text message, Jen and Greg try to help Samantha win her boyfriend back and Heather and Jen console Colleen and Matt over their break-up.

When John starts feeling old, he attempts to make himself look younger, much to the dismay of his family. Also, Heather worries that Sophia's piano recital will be a disaster; Jen, Greg and Lark go to an over-the-top birthday party full of overachieving parents who make them panic about getting Lark into a good preschool; and Matt meets Colleen's mother, Mia (Mercedes Ruehl), for the first time.

A salesman at a guitar store hits on Clementine, which makes Tyler uncomfortable; a tattoo artist makes a spelling error on a tattoo Tim got as a Valentine's Day surprise for Heather; Matt's plan for Valentine's Day with Colleen doesn't go as hoped; and Greg and Jen discuss having another baby.

To visit his great-grandmother, Greg and Jen find a solution to their sleeping woes, and Matt takes over for Tim as Sophia's soccer coach.

When Greg and Jen slip away for a couples massage, the afternoon doesn't turn out to be as relaxing as they expected. Also, Tim, Heather and the kids have a contest to see who can accumulate the least trash, Colleen asks Matt to illustrate a children's book she is writing, and Jen helps Joan and John with their will.

Greg joins Colleen's gym and goes overboard gearing up to work out. Also, Heather and Jen host a secret garage sale that directly competes with one Joan is having, Tyler and Samantha throw a party while Heather and Tim are away for the weekend, and the family has second thoughts about eating lobster for dinner.

Heather and Tim meet a couple they want to socialize with, but Sophia and their son don't hit it off; Greg thinks he and Jen should take separate flights in case something happens to the plane; Matt and John take Gary out to meet women; and Matt's ex-wife makes a surprise visit.

Colleen goes Christmas caroling with John and his Air Force buddies; Joan tries to take control of Lark's first Christmas; a mall Santa gives Samantha lice; and Tyler announces his college plans.

Greg and Matt play table tennis; Heather has second thoughts after suggesting Tim should get a vasectomy; Jen is stressed about returning to work; and Joan learns that her credit card has been stolen when she begins to receive strange packages.

When Jen cuts her finger and Greg takes her to the hospital, they finally have the first quality alone time they've had in months. Also, John takes Samantha and Sophia to a restaurant where everything is named after feelings, Heather gives Tim a sexy anniversary gift, and Sophia is punished after Heather hears her swearing.

Joan invites a recently widowed neighbor to Thanksgiving; and Colleen's cauliflower dish doesn't go over so well with the family. In other events, Tim and Sophia search for a last-minute replacement for Heather's spoiled turkey; Jen and Greg contemplate who should be Lark's godparent; and John takes Samantha to the Harvest Festival.

When Jen and Greg interview potential nannies for Lark, they find it difficult to find one they trust. Also, Tim, Matt and Greg go camping, Heather suspects Matt bought Colleen earrings with money she loaned him, and John makes a wooden puppet for Lark that the family has more fun playing with than she does.

When Matt and Colleen catch Chad (Jordan Peele)
trying to kidnap her beloved pup, Princess, Chad uses the opportunity to pitch them his new business venture. Also, Jen and Greg try to be intimate for the firsttime since having a baby, Heather "breaks up" with her longtimehairstylist, Lynette (Alex Borstein), and Tim ruins Samantha's birthday party

Jen and Greg vow not to become germaphobes, and John buys Sophia a cell phone behind her parents' backs.

The siblings congratulate Greg after word spreads that he stood up to Joan for passive-aggressively questioning Jen's parenting skills. Also, Chad insists on having one last meal with Colleen's grandmother before heading off to jail, Matt and Greg discourage Tim from beating John at a round of golf and Sophia gets a peanut stuck up her nose.

When Matt invites Colleen to brunch with the family, he coaches her through the difficult task of connecting with them. Also, John, Matt and Greg try to prove their masculinity by cutting down a tree in Greg's backyard, Tim has an adverse reaction to espresso, and a sleep-deprived Greg has a run-in with the cops.

Matt and Colleen have the most enjoyable bad date ever, and Heather and Tim move to a new home with the help of a moving company that employs ex-cons.

As the Short family's lives unfold in four brief stories each week, they try to savor the moments that add up to what life's all about.