A teratoma is tumor that grows teeth and hair. Satan has one removed from his armpit and brings it home to be his friend. Terry the Teratoma immediately falls for Becky the Devil's advocate. Together they plot to kill DJ Jesus who has just published a novel - a thinly disguised roman clef called Lacy.

Senator Whitehead's son Tad is a registered sex offender so Satan gives him a job as a busboy at Tequila Sally's. Tad makes a life-sized sculpture of Lucy out of raw meat and left-over food and has sex with it in the walk-in refrigerator. Meanwhile, Satan becomes fascinated with the online sex offender registry and its artistic possibilities.