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Barney quits drinking to take helicopter-flying lessons, leaving Homer feeling resentful and inferior; Lisa and Bart enter a contest to photograph the cover of the Springfield phone book.
Bart attempts to sneak into an Indian casino by replacing the ventriloquist dummy and the head of the casino shows him the future when Lisa is President of the United States.
In Florida, Homer gets caught up in spring break partying and accidentally runs over "Captain Jack" a iconic swamp alligator and the family has to go on the lam. Blackboard: "I am not here on a fartball scholarship".