There's a circus dwarf who superglues his penis to a hoover; a shoemaker who stitches up her thumb; a boy who melts his trousers as he tries to put out a sparkler; and a toilet that falls off the back of a lorry and on to a man's foot.

There's a boy who walked around for six weeks not knowing a pencil had punctured his lung; a prized pooch who breaks his owner's nose; a man whose ear is bitten off in a fight; and a patient whose body is engulfed by giant red spots.

Plus a builder who has to be rescued from scaffolding after a slip up with breezeblocks splits his knee.