The family joins a church to get free day care for baby Jamie; Francis tries to help the dude ranch cash-in on a local UFO craze.

While Lois goes into hard labor at home, Hal winds up unconscious and hallucinating in an emergency room, and the boys wander into a hospital parenting class.

Hal takes the boys to a bridal shower; Lois' mother wants to move in with the family; Malcolm gets an offer to enroll in a prestigious private school.

Malcolm meets a chess-playing bum who could be him in 30 years; Lois can't figure out why she's gaining weight; Dewey attributes his bizarre behavior to obeying requests from the fetus Lois is carrying.

When Hal and Lois go on a less-than-romantic getaway, Reese throws a party at home, which is crashed by delinquent friends of Fracis, who take over teh garage and hold the boys hostage.

As Lois and Hal write their wills in preparation for the baby's birth, they recall various colorful incidents with their four current children.

Malcolm competes in an academic octathlon but hates the intensity of the other competitors; Hal fights to regain Dewey's love; Reese tries to get out of going to a formal dance.

Lois puts Reese in charge of the family's garage sale; Hal restarts his old pirate radio station.

Hal spends a wild night with an old high school buddy; Malcolm tries to liberate Dabney from his mother's control; Francis spends the night with Otto when their wives are out of town.

Hal takes a second job at a stereo store, but has a hard time fitting in with the younger employees; the boys chafe under the sly rule of a new babysitter.

When Hal kicks Malcolm out of the house for misbehaving, Reese tries to take advantage of Hal's distraction to come up with a truly bad stunt of his own.

Lois uses a long drive with Malcolm to further his sex education; Reese spends a day in prison; Dewey plants seeds of discontent in Hal's vocal group.

Wondering about the sex of her new baby, Lois imagines what life would be like if her boys were girls.

When Lois' mother visits, she trips on a leaf and decides to sue Hal and Lois..just as Lois finds out she's pregnant again.

On a visit to Francis' dude ranch Hal can't help being disappointed in Francis' success; Reese and Malcolm fear Francis has turned into an overly responsible grownup, and Gretchen punishes Dewey for breaking a valuable doll.

Malcolm tries not speaking his mind; Hal takes up race-walking; Reese goes on a date with his girlfriend...and Craig.

Malcolm sneaks around to date a girl whose father hates him; Hal and Lois become more productive when they can't have sex for a week; Dewey discovers he's an "evil twin"; Francis mediates a dispute.

As Malcolm and Reese fight an escalating battle of revenge, they flash back to the chain of events that led to the war; Dewey prepares for a school play; Francis and Otto fear a Devil Cow.

Malcolm tries to "dumb down" to attract a cute, non-intellectual girl; Hal rents a steamroller and becomes addicted to crushing things.

When Lois is repeatedly insulted at Hal's family reunion, the boys take revenge and Hal is prompted to finally stand up to his avoidant father.

Malcolm suffers extreme humiliation during his first week as a high school freshman; Dewey loves his first week as a latchkey kid; Francis discovers the trials of working for a too-permissive boss.

During a trip to the zoo, Hal gets jealous of Lois' former boyfriend; Dewey and Malcolm fall into a tiger pen, and Reese butts heads with a goat...while Francis gets stranded on a cross-country car trip and takes a new job at a dude ranch.