While trying to rekindle their marriage, Stan and Francine get trapped on a hot air balloon. The rest of the family wins a jingle writing contest.

Hayley feels left behind after Jeff becomes a star dog racing coach. Steve takes advantage of an empty house.

Francine becomes obsessed with home security after a break-in rattles her. Steve tries on Hayley's laidback approach to school work.

Steve goes to boarding school, only to discover it's an all-girls school. Stan is annoyed by a parade of characters that come to take Steve's place at home.

Steve and Roger restart their career as a twin brother acting duo. The family becomes addicted to a novelty gift shop.

Steve gets competitive during the father-son events at Possum Lake. Roger learns how to ride a bike.

In the show's 250th episode, Stan has to take over Roger's different personas after a tumor takes him out of commission. Principal Lewis pressures Steve and the school choir to do whatever it takes to win.

Jeff starts hanging out with Stan's favorite celebrity chef while in search of an identity. Klaus and Roger start their own valet operation.

Tired of never finishing what she starts, Francine takes bodybuilding to an unhealthy extreme.

Francine falls in with a group of tough girls after becoming the new school guidance counselor. Jeff panics when he loses his hat.

Roger becomes worried about outliving the family; Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.

Steve is acting out his sexual energy, so Francine asks Stan to give Steve the talk; Stan is terrified because he's afraid he will do it wrong; the family builds a giant water slide in the backyard.

Stan is frustrated with traffic so he goes to the mayor and proposes that the town build a bullet train, but the mayor laughs off the idea; Roger pushes Stan into running for mayor; Stan wins the election but finds himself overwhelmed.

Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds that the cadets are the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype-man for a famous rapper.

Francine hosts a dinner party even though a serial killer who attacks dinner parties is terrorizing the town; when the lights go out and guests start to disappear, Roger takes charge of solving the mystery of who is stalking the party.

Stan deals with childhood issues of abandonment. Klaus starts a website to embarrass the Smith family about their fails.

Hayley gets a job as a delivery driver and begins delivering lunch to Stan's office; when she sees the terrible work conditions, she organizes a strike; the family watches Breaking Bad in reverse and discovers the show is hiding a scavenger hunt.

Stan discovers that the Langley Falls historical mural has been ruined by graffiti and neglect and convinces the town to allow him to restore the mural himself; Roger becomes Steve's instructor at a prestigious clowning university.

Steve and Roger are bird-watching when they see a strange man steal the bird eggs. Steve and Roger follow the man and learn that he is part of a secret organization that collects rare and endangered bird eggs.

Stan and Hayley compete in collecting data for the U.S. Census; Klaus has Steve and his friends model for his new camera.

Francine is happy watching vapid morning talk shows and ignoring real world news. When she decides to surprise Stan at work she accidentally discovers that Stan has been running her favorite show in an attempt to shelter her from the real world. Francine turns to Roger who leads her into the twisted world of conspiracy theories. Meanwhile, Steve and Klaus help Snot's family move into a new apartment.

When the Smiths are too busy preparing for Christmas to pay attention to Roger, Roger turns his attention to Steve's friend Snot. Snot teaches Roger about Hanukkah, prompting Roger to convert to Judaism. Roger then decides that he can make Hanukkah more popular than Christmas by stealing Santa Claus' powers and becoming Schmanta Claus. But, being Roger, he abuses his new Schmanta powers leading the Smiths and Snot to find the real Santa Claus in an attempt to take down Roger.